Anxieties for camp

Kinda felt good when I heard that Jeff isn't going to australia this december. I wouldn't say that I am sad or happy on either ends since actually I am glad that he might be given this opportunity to attend JET CAMP
and sad since he couldn't enjoy his break down at australia with his precious sister.

Anyway, I was overjoy to know that people still wants to see my sisters there at the camp. But at the same time, I was fearful by the thought that I couldn't convince them to come for it. Anyway, whatever I could do now is PRAY and SEEK the Lord. I was reading something about FEAR and It's Challenges, one of the pamphlets given by my church weekly. I am reminded about the promised land and the giants in it. I am looking at one now, so I will put myself in a position to believe the impossible and see the invisible, which meant to be going by faith into the unknown.

Hopefully by the end of this week, I can get myself to attend the camp, jy and hui, and jeff too, I really am hoping the best from God for this.

Praise the Lord over and over and over again for everything that is now, last time and yet to come :)

Train and tireness

Just got back from subang for a meeting, felt like super restless when I was waiting to go back home on train.

Deep within my mind, the only thing that was floating in my empty yet tired head was to get someone out to yam cha, don't feel like going back since this will be the last day at home for the weekend, then going back to uni for a few days again. Besides, I wasn't too happy about facing my family that often, maybe I wasn't just in the mood, that's all.

Left the train, came back and stared blankly at the computer.

Initially, wanted to do some work before my sudden call this morning to meet up with a pastor down at subang.
But now, after all that had happen at the meeting, I felt too tired and moodless to do anything at all. :(

Anyway, now I think I will just try to get some rest for the period of time that I have and get ready to go back to uni. Hopefully this week will be more productive compared to the last, not to mention I desired to go for the JET camp on 9 december, have to just assure myself that I will be prepared for finals even I give myself time off to have fun and relax :)

End of semester adversaries

Being in this part of semester seem really hectic especially when there is a dateline.

Was supposedly doing my revision today morning on emd, but alas, I been sitting in front of the computer since I woke up. The last few days was one heck of time I had, have to rush with Malaysian studies assignment, and quizzes and who knows what will come up next.

I have been waiting so dearly for the semester to be over, only have 5 more weeks till finals and after that yippee I am over with this semester, at least for a month. Anyway christmas is coming soon, and I don't have anything I could get for my close friends yet. Chinese New Year will be up next.

Anyway, back to the story, been hard to keep up with my growing developments, in other words, hard to strive a balance in everything I do. I definitely know that I do little when it comes to studies, but more in almost anything else, especially when it comes to spending time doing nonsense. Even bible reading and quiet time seem japedise.

3 things to at least do well in by the time this semester end, but it's hard to accomplish especially when there will be so much to attend to
1. Academically
2. Physically
3. Spiritually

I know that a lot of christians will also have this sort of thing in mind, guess balance is the key to all of it. Not too much of this and too much of that.

I am just hoping that my personal issues will resolve soon. Trying to be a goodie goodie tissue seem hard to do.

Anyway, there's really short time left to actually study for upcoming test and finish my projects and assignments. I just wish that I could get a break soon from all this, even the weekends don't feel much of a break. I still have to think about my studies, and it felt like a nightmare just doing so.

God, this is my prayer, I just hope that I won't have to go deeper into that pot of boiling water, at this level it's already bad enough, but yeah I have to be reminded that Your grace is always sufficient for me to deal with all circumstances that I am in. praise the Lord's Holy name in all that I do, thanks God for being my everything. :)

Thoughts about zeee FUTURE!

Today's the first day of my week. Somehow this week felt free compare to last few weeks that I have been going thru. But I could still the insecurity at every turn of my life. It's like something will pop anytime soon. I guess life has thought me not to live a life that is just plain idle and happy go lucky. Something could just happen in a flick of an eye.

It's not that true that I am really free, since I still have pending assignments that I am still have uncertainty in doing. I know that I am a guy of plans but never been a guy of actions, so yeah, most work always lay undone or rather last minute.

I also have been thinking about my life ahead. People been asking me what I wanna do for my future, like in masters and so on. Working life and yada yada...

Right now, I am not certain about my life either, but I still recalled a friend once told me, hold on to God and everything will fit into the picture on its own. I now start to see how important it is to form this relationship with Jesus Christ, like a genuine one. It's not about the hurts/pains, dreams, minor problems and whatsoever. It's also what determines your life when you start to surrender your life to God, and also start to be in tune with God's plan for you. He did promise us in Jeremiah 29:11

For I knows the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Yeah, I think I will be holding on to that promise from now on, still can see trials and tribulations coming ahead of me, but my God is greater this I know, for the Bible tells me so  :p

Anyway, I think I need to start getting a bit more serious with my schedules tmr. Praise the Lord for the day I had today, It's been great just to end the day in front of my computer typing out my thoughts.

p.s. felt that my thoughts are being wide open for others to read. is it good or bad? i wonder....

Morning morning

Now is like freaking early in the morning, it's not like I am not used to it. =(

I just do not want to follow mom to market, just when I wanna rest and have plans on my own, right now still waiting for her like a good boy. Gosh, waiting sometimes is a bliss, don't have to be in such a rush all the time.

Yesterday, I was having the last paper for my test, electrical machines and drives. I think I am owned by that paper. Not sure how badly own though. Whatever it is, I trust God will all I am now. Note to myself, have to prepare 1 week earlier. This is a MUST, no more buts and delays d.

At least one thing is for sure, no more test for a while, which meant one thing at the moment, no more complacency for me.

Now I think I will be off to market with mom, might explain how bad it is after I am back, or maybe it could be better =)

Techflow Pot Bless today

Actually couldn't believe that I never felt so free in such a long time. This is so real.

Today was the first time in a long time that I am not on the committee while being at Techflow usual meetings. Just being at the back of the computer make me feel at bliss like literally. I could feel so chillax and think calmly. I guess the only time, I didn't feel so calm was when the projector wasn't working too well that time, it's been a common problem that I faced every Techflow meeting. But this time, Bevon and Alex back me up, helping me find the solution to the problem. So grateful for their helping hands.

Bevon also taught me how to actually change to expanding the screen. It isn't something new to me, but I didn't thought that I could actually shift one of the windows over, namely the pnw slide program. Thank God for something new learn today :)

Lend the book Out Of The Harbour, by Jia Min to a friend. Hoped that she will be inspired by those hand written journals of a wonderful woman of God.

Enjoyed the makan and fellowship, with Sharon, Young, Mei Ling, Julius, Lance, Relwin, and I guess all that have not been mentioned. Finally, I have gotten a set of weighing/testing personalities papers. Long to start it off soon, but I guess I will have to do that around the weekends where I am off the hook. Have to get my bum back to work now.

Gosh, Young already gotten his stuff, when will I get mine.
Frankly, feeling really anxious about getting my phone too, but still haven't set my mind on one yet. God please help me with this decision :)

When sadness and disappointment arise

Yesterday wasn't such a good time for me, I guess I was just being paranoid and hallucinating by the fact that I can't fully accept. I can't accept till yesterday that I am not in the committee anymore, and it makes me feel disconnected and unwanted in many situations. I forgot that the One that had call me is not man, but God. I spoke to a friend yesterday, he told me that I shouldn't hold onto to it anymore. Just have to learn to let go whatever that's in the past. 


I came across a passage that says the same thing in Philippians 3: 12-14.

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

This happened while I was reading Out Of The Habour by Jia Min Choo. It keep reminding me to look ahead of what God has for me, don't look bad whether it's good or bad. Jesus is the Author of my salvation and my life, that I need to have it in me. Praise the Lord.


I also actually have been reminded today morning while reading that I shouldn't have confidence by my own strength, for I know personally, I am weak. I believed that Someone is stronger than me, and that's Jesus Himself. This comes from this passage, Philippians 3: 2-6.

2 Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. 3 For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— 4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence.
If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.

A lot have been happening within me for a while now, I am afraid of what is yet to come, I forgot that I have a great God in Heaven who is the controller of my life. I should face life brave and confident. Whatever comes my way, let it come, I won't be afraid because I am assured of who I am in Christ. Frankly speaking, I place my problems bigger than God that I couldn't see God anymore. Today only, I realized that I have place my priorities wrong and Jesus should be the focus of my life, not some mere past which upsets me over and over again.


Thank You God for everything, even the sad times when You were by me hearing all that I wanted to pour out. And thank You for sending someone to speak to me when I need it. I wish to hear from You rather, but when the time is right, I will trust that You know best.


Blessed be those who are reading right now. :)


Do take care and have a blessed week ahead.

AMV of my past :)

Gatekeepers~ old anime

Freaking old show/anime for me, watching this makes me feel like a kid again. Not to mention, so nostalgic, just enjoying the moments I used to have when I was getting ready to go to school like in the morning.

Word OF God

Somehow this particular verse seem so true to my heart all of a sudden and I have never believed it 100% frankly speaking.

4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'

                                                                                                                                   -Matthew 4:4-

Felt like that after reading God's word, my uneasiness of the day seem to be lifted. Glad that I recalled what I needed to do when this burden a.k.a uneasiness came to my heart.

Serving God in the Kitchen

Man...today was some day that I had, one thing about being at church this week was totally different from other normal Sundays. By normal, I meant that I do not have to sit at youth service as usual. This time, due to the upcoming youth camp. The youth group committee organised few fund raising events, and one of it was today's sushi making a.k.a makan-ing event. 


About few weeks before the event, me and Su Mei were chosen as the head of operation for the event, calling people to help, making arrangements with the chef, getting the place, and helping out to get things to go in order. Sad to say, most of the work have been done by Su Mei, and I would say i didn't do much when it came to the organizing part. I only managed to get a friend to help, but she called like almost 10 helpers. 


Anyway, long story short, we did had our part of the fun making something like "tong-yun" and grinding vegetables and stuff of the sort. We made something that looks familiar to me, something like a Bento. My sister also had fun while waiting for me to fetch her to Jusco, she made new friends (supposedly old but I guess it doesn't matter), while helping out in the kitchen. Personally, I taught a new believer that we could serve others and God yet have fun. He did have fun today and it's a testimony to God and for Him as well. 


Finally, I couldn't express how great the food were after the whole event was over with. We have to clean up, and yeah thank God so much, not having to do extra work with the washing. There were a bunch to wash up if we were to do it ourselves, and also not to mention that most of the helpers had to leave for home, classes etc. 


I am glad that I find joy in serving You and others today, Lord. But most of all, I am happy to spend time with my other brothers and sisters in Christ namely, Leong Su Mei, Grace, Grace Tan, Vanessa, Natasha Hean, Jeffrey Tee, Elijah, Winnie Chew, Aisha Tan, and Steven Lee. 


p.s. what a surprise that I found out that Steven our chef was Han Jian's brother... :p

Open Book Test

Just went thru such a hard time in Malaysian Studies class, apparently there was an open book test today (somehow expected)

But turns out there wasn't a thing shown regarding the title given for the questions, I was checking in the notes about it hoping for a clue to or something. Alas, the mentioning of the topic was too general. So yeah, turns out I have to get some outsource on the website instead.

After the test was dealt with, I asked my friends how was it. Everyone said the same thing, it's like once there's a open book test, it means the Guy expects you to know everything about the topic itself. So typical of the lecturer.

Anyway, just gonna focus on my upcoming test tomorrow, wish me all the best then. :)

Test and then....*tada*

Grasp.... Having test today and on Friday too

How can things get any worse due to the fact that I felt so excited and anxious at the same time, hopefully preparation is enough for the past few weeks.

I am also excited about the upcoming sharing activity (video) on 15 November and PRAISE AND WORSHIP night. I just wanna let God have all the glory and praises that night. I just hope that my intentions won't turn out wrong by wanting the different kinds of music from the same band, just to enjoy and have fun. It's God's time, but I am reminded that He also wants me to have fun while praising Him too. I am going to do with all my might, praise the Lord for His mercy, grace and who He really is. The person in charge for that night already started to get us suggesting the songs that we want, I have got a long one waiting for him, hopefully he is not overwhelm.

Yea, hopefully, I won't be disappointed that I can't get what I want from my list, it's God's stuff, so I will let Him choose what's best. Actually truly speaking, everything's always been God's, never been anyone else, so all glory goes to Him. Amen!

There's still some time till the day itself, so might as well be patient and pray for the events that are yet to come. I pray that people will be touch through this event, especially pre-believers that might be coming. Let it be something special yet personal to all those who will be coming on that night. Believers and pre-believers alike.

:)