ThePlan11- Day 1

Today, I wanna say that it felt like DIFFERENT…

Not just because I am attending a conference, that’s why I say such things. I will start off with yesterday; when I was praying in the hall with the others during the sessions, it felt like something or someone was literally touching the part where my heart was, I seriously don’t know if it’s really God but I decided to believe that it was Jesus who touched my heart. Only that I started to wonder whether or not, something is about to happen to my life forever, like you know, people mention that when touched by God, their lives are transformed forever. I wonder if that’s really it. Truthfully speaking, I was actually expecting something from this conference but I have never exactly given it much thought about what I really want from here, leave here with what? That’s what I ponder about.

Few questions shot at me were;

1.       What was I expecting to get after leaving this place? 
2.      What can I contribute to the society/ country/ God’s kingdom after I leave this place?
3.       What am I willing to die for? What am I willing to live for?

It was just in that sphere where I felt helpless?? I should say.

Looking at things that I should give up in order to carry God’s work within me, it felt like I have to give up on computer games, certain form of videos with wrong elements in them, things of the sort, I supposed. Besides that, I feel like giving it a try regarding politics and being on that mission field, I believed that it is somewhat a mission field that God is calling most of us to be in; it’s a tough mission field but not an impossible one.  Not exactly being on that mission field but I wanna know as much about that mission field, at least I am in the know and I understand the heart of God that way. 

Seriously, this is just the first day, so I am longing to know what I am here for, praise the Lord for sending me =\

Yet again, I am going to trust that the Lord is going to show me something through this conference, I just have to pray harder and looking harder with my heart. 

hmmm~~ thoughts??

Tomorrow will be the day where I will be travelling towards to conference site, am feeling unprepared as always, wanting to see God as anxious and as much, wonder if I happen to be real, it felt like I am not at all real and honest with myself and would say to God. Feeling much inferiority in myself for being maybe dishonest. At the moment, trying to talk to a friend but everyone seem to be appearing offline and it’s so hard to get a hold of anyone that I need so badly… don’t even know who to look for at the moment, what to say to them as well. 

Self-pity much….

Hopefully I will just focus on what I should be doing at the moment, which is getting ready and packing for tomorrow’s trip, hopefully swimming will calm my thoughts today evening. I keep feeling like I am not supposed to have friends, cause I am afraid to get disappointed over and over again. Anyway, I guess I will just not get myself too free to indulge in such crap, have to continue getting myself a little bit more occupied J

Night after finals

Guess that tonight seem a little quieter than usual due to the fact that I don’t have much of paper to study, what did I do to fulfil my time??

First went for dinner with Young… then went over to his place, didn’t know that the place look so similar to Cendi but it was way better, kinda like it there, although I regret one thing about it, not close to the sports areas where I am most interested in.

After long time of crapping at his room, started heading back for Cendi, hoping to finish up the appeal letter that I most dearly needed to hand up tomorrow,

Right now just about to play DRAGON NEST for a while, and hopefully time for some shut eye till next morning, (my most favourite part of the night) J

Onto the game!!! WOOOHOOOO

Last Paper~~

Ohhh look! It’s already close to 6 in the morning…

Need to get thoroughly prepared for the last important paper of the semester, LINEAR ALGEBRA….

It is never possible to wait for the papers to be truly over before you can enjoy to the maximum. Although, I am still having moral in around few days, to be précised, it will be on Tuesday evening, I will only start studying on Sunday night, whole Sunday afternoon, I will be enjoying for that matter.

Just wanna thank God for giving me the strength and as much focus during the week itself, couldn’t have done it with all the kinds of distraction before me, such as my discouragement in my carry marks, certain on9 games and much more. Thank God once again as always for being there for me when I fall.

Coming back to preparation, this was actually the last paper and here I am at MCD today super early morning, glad that I didn’t sleep through tonight, and good thing Raymas called me when I was dozing off when I was still at Cendi, imagine that I didn’t know much about the paper and I am still sleeping, and guess what? My paper is the next morning itself, first thing in the morning. 

Now back to preparation, hopefully everything will go smoothly now which is  before and during the exam itself. Thank God again J

Anxiousness after finals

Somehow it’s been hard just waiting for the time to pass especially when we are facing situations that makes us more and more anxious about life. Fine… Let’s give examples such as examinations and their results, if done well, things will be smooth flowing with people around you, the other way around might happen if we fail the paper or something like that.

At the moment, I’ve been waiting for finals to be over with, and after 3 days of waiting and craving on a computer game which I am not supposed to be doing, tomorrow is that day where after facing all of it in 3 days, my exams could officially be over for the semester, not counting in the fact that I am still having moral paper on Tuesday, waiting and craving just like that keeps me excited most of the time, but dangerously it might change my focus on things which I am not supposed to be looking at such as games, or ANYTHING that could SHIFT my FOCUS from what was most important at that time, which in this case, my final examinations.

I am only hoping that I would be wise and discipline enough to study until that period is over

Prayer: Hope God will give me the strength, wisdom, time and patience to endure through all this. J

There seem to be so many things waiting and install for me after the finals, can’t wait to finish finals and get on with whatever there is there. For instance, I would be attending this Christian conference also known as THEPLAN11, the purpose of this conference is to teach and encourage young adults, teens and everyone in between to be engaged in the community as salt and light of this Earth and how to be effective in doing so. And I guess one of the most exciting things about it is to meet new friends who are running the same race as I do, and perhaps make new friends in the process throughout that period of 4 days that I will be there. Based on the first Christian conference that I have attended last year, I have pretty much a good experience there; most of the friends that I meet seem to be able to relate to one another being God’s child and all. Although all our dreams are different, but one goal stays the same which is to glorify God in anything that we planned to do. And most importantly to have time to share God’s infamous good news that every Christian knows. True enough, there is so much to do before the coming of glorious Lord Jesus Christ again.

Coming back to our story, I am expecting to meet many different and inspired speakers that will be coming to share their views about evangelism and missionary in the field that we are in, be it in the marketplace, our school or even out there where the needy are waiting to be ministered to. But someone that I am expecting to see most dearly is Our Living God, will love to feel Him again, or at least expect something great from Him , I still don’t know what to expect, it felt like the last time when I started out for my first conference, maybe what I really wanna know is to do His will, and that’s what was mentioned in His Word, only those that does the will of God will be recognised as God’s child and be part of His kingdom.

I hope to get a revelation out of it. Hopefully I could come back to share more about it with those who wants to get some insight to it.

I guess I would share some other parts of what I want to write for another time, have to get back to studying.  J

2 questions..~~

Things seem to have piled up a little more, not to mention the time and mood that I particularly have in blogging is getting less.

Seem like time flows like the river and it's for sure, you won't touch the same spot of water twice. Blogging is one thing that I can't find the time to do, even I have the time to do it, wait till it comes to my mood. It will just be much more of an excuse by then.

2 questions keep coming to me since a week back:
a) What is it really to give your best to God?
How is it ever possible to give your best and place your heart in places where you don't feel like doing it. It's hard, I know, especially when you do not have a choice. God called me to be a student here at UNITEN, and for sure my duty and obligations, as I would call it is to study. It is that hard when the time comes for you to sit for exams and for many people, I know on FACEBOOK tend to curse and come up with statements like a new form of poetry or something, I thought that it was rather unique to do so, but don't you think it's actually best to place all that time you have into studying for your upcoming obstacles so that you could just bring them down in one blow (if that's even possible)

Anyway back to the story, I watched this movie called FACING THE GIANTS, it was pretty much an inspirational story where God used the weak to show His glory thru them, it only started when the players of a rugby team wants to glorified Him in this games and all that they do.

I though what is it really like to give your best, when your best includes blood and sweats coming out of you. Think about it, anything you do, literally, anything.

b) What is it really like to love, reverence and fear God?
There are really deep meaning when it comes to do with this words. Words that might change and turn your life around like who knows, 180 or 360?

To read the Bible and spending time in prayer, it's not as easy, all Christians will have known that unless they are really used to it, and pretty much found God and enjoyed His presence, I too wanna enjoy that presence of His. To get started isn't as easy, and to really understand the feeling of losing someone might be the start of really understanding the feeling of loving someone and be loved by him/her in return.

Do things out of reverence and fear of the Lord, it's never really been something that struck me as often as it should have. I guess it's just shows how little time I spend with the Lord, or is it something else is keeping me from doing so.

Nevertheless, I am trying my best as much as anyone else does to live a godly life, so that it would be a scent of fragrance to God, not stinking rubbish dump...

What Love is all About??

What Is Love??
Think again!

This video seem like a simple one just created by the people at a church, but it's meaning could change lives

Read this:

Love that never ends, finishes, dries out or depletes

Love that is everlasting

Love that heals the BROKEN hearted, the WOUNDED soul, the HURTING spirit

Love that is BIG, HUGE, and MAJESTIC

Love that is UNDENIABLE, UNFATHOMABLE, and UNCONDITIONAL

OUR GOD IS LOVE

Love that is immeasurable, indescribable and insurmountable

His Love is holy, pure and sincere

Love that goes the extra mile

That parts the deepest seas

That moves the highest mountains

Love that cannot be contained

That cannot depressed, suppressed nor hidden

Love that is so REAL

OVER GOD IS LOVE

Love that makes dreams a REALITY

Love that brings life into EMPTINESS

Love that is beyond our imagination

Beyond our wildest dreams

Beyond our deepest HOPES

And surpasses every EXPECTATIONS

Love that redeemed US

Love that saved our SOULS

Love that conquered DEATH and the CROSS

Love that is VICTORIOUS

OUR GOD IS LOVE!!!