Tomorrow will be the day where I will be travelling towards to conference site, am feeling unprepared as always, wanting to see God as anxious and as much, wonder if I happen to be real, it felt like I am not at all real and honest with myself and would say to God. Feeling much inferiority in myself for being maybe dishonest. At the moment, trying to talk to a friend but everyone seem to be appearing offline and it’s so hard to get a hold of anyone that I need so badly… don’t even know who to look for at the moment, what to say to them as well.
Self-pity much….
Hopefully I will just focus on what I should be doing at the moment, which is getting ready and packing for tomorrow’s trip, hopefully swimming will calm my thoughts today evening. I keep feeling like I am not supposed to have friends, cause I am afraid to get disappointed over and over again. Anyway, I guess I will just not get myself too free to indulge in such crap, have to continue getting myself a little bit more occupied J
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